What a tremendous privilege to work for a company that sets aside two days at the start of the year for staff to spend time in God's presence and hear from some awesome speakers. The theme this year was grace and identity. I have so much head knowledge of these concepts but know that there is so much more heart belief and transformation needed in these areas. I was also able to see today how far I have come in this journey too. It was so encouraging to me to feel so light under these concepts although definitely challenged to go further too. There wasn't that deep cleaning needed this time.
One of the speakers, Pastor Dave Storer, said that he has discovered another name for God: Jehovah Sneaky. I love this idea! It is so true that as you spend time with God, He sneaks into your heart and does deep work that you don't even have words for. I know that this has happened again for me this week. I want this to be daily for me. I want to be so conscious of His presence, His grace at work in and through me.
I feel a shift this year. I feel that I have begun to operate more in God's strength, although I have by no means mastered this! I had a revelation this week that one of the reasons why my daughter's sleep has been such an ongoing issue is to force me to rely on God more to achieve anything. There isn't enough of my own strength and my intellect has been dulled with the sleep deprivation. It has to be Him if I am to do any of the things that I have committed to and desire to do this year. This has energised me in a strange way to recognise the good that is coming out of the tough season.
One thing that particularly challenged me was how I approach my time with God in the Scriptures each day. I rely on my own intellect to try to understand the Scriptures and apply them, even though I offer a token prayer for God to guide me at the start. I spend more time reading and applying study strategies than actually connecting with the living God. There's my next step for this year! I have been doing more listening but long to hear His voice on a daily basis.
I am so excited at this moment. I know that there will be really tough times this year. The level of difficulty that we deal with in the students I teach, the new roles and responsibilities that I have taken on, the various areas I minister in are all daunting when I look at them. I find myself looking less at the facts and more at the truth of God. I sense a greater outpouring this year. I sense a year of greater fruit being produced. Not because of who I am, or what I am capable of but because I am more connected with my Saviour and Father. Now to walk in this daily when the struggles hit!!