Wednesday, 1 June 2016

What I Learned in May



May was a jam-packed month for me and left little time for reflection. I have felt behind and only just succeeding in juggling the many responsibilities, to dos and heart pursuits. Are you like me and still occasionally (or more often) write 2015 in dates? It's like a part of my brain hasn't caught up to the fact that we are in 2016. Has the middle of the year caught you by surprise too? I genuinely started to write "What I Learned in March" as that feels far more suitable! In the midst of this busyness and season of stretching, I have had some deep revelations about myself, taken some brave steps and identified areas for future paring down.

  • This picture sums up the huge AHA moment I had this month:



What is INFJ? It is the most rare personality type. And it is me. Reading through the descriptors of this personality with its challenges and internal conflicts has brought me to tears more than once this month. It is the first time all the seemingly opposite parts of me have come together as a whole. It explains why so many other personality tests have left me confused with mixed results. It explains why I struggle to connect with people, why phone calls seem like a huge task and why I have often felt like I do not belong anywhere. A small glimpse is captured in this infographic I found on Pinterest:



If you are interested in what personality type you are, the website I used is https://www.16personalities.com/ which is based on the Myers-Briggs theory. They also have descriptions of INFJ there (and all the others) if you are interested to read more. Maybe you identify with what I've written or maybe you are one of my friends who wants to get this weird unique person that you have stumbled (or more likely worked really hard) into friendship with. It is also fun to look through Google Images or Pinterest at some of the images that people have created, like this one:

  • A random conversation with a colleague tied in and was a precursor (maybe even catalyst) to seeking further insight through the personality test. We were discussing our roles at work and some of the tensions and ideas we had. She made the comment that she is a "pioneer" type and loves setting up new programs and ideas but struggles with the monotony of carrying out the role past about two years. It hit me that I identified with those feelings. It put into perspective the angst I have been sensing internally despite loving my work. I have since discovered that stability in work and being in the same role long term are known issues for my personality type. What to do about this is a matter for more reflection, discussion and dreaming.
  • A four year old can have some intensely disturbing nightmares, with no indication of where those ideas came from. We have long known that she suffers from nightmares almost every night. She is now able to articulate what her dreams are about. Her anxiety during the day is barely detectable most of the time now and has shifted in presentation to be housed in dreams. Those dreams have a significant impact on her emotions and moods, particularly in the mornings. Another parenting challenge to navigate!
  • I have been searching for something of a lighter variety to share this month and am coming up blank. Apparently it was a deep month for me!
Linking up with Emily Freeman here.