The most important person for me to lead is myself. If I am not in a healthy place, all aspects of my leadership and life will suffer. I feel the weight of responsibility of leading a ministry at a State level. I am responsible for choosing new regional leaders, directing the vision of the State and discerning and resolving issues. All of these things require the ability to hear from God. I have been on a journey of drawing closer to God before being in this leadership position. Now I feel the urgency and necessity of that increasing. I cannot be effective in this position with lukewarm faith and a mediocre relationship with God.
Establishing a daily habit of spending time with God has been critical to developing that deeper relationship with Him. I am now in a season where I am feeling called to explore different ways to spend time with Him and hear from Him. I love Bible study and like to go in depth. I have discovered that I cannot restrict myself to this, however. My relationship was growing stale and becoming more of an intellectual pursuit. What I was craving was connection with His presence.
I have been exploring contemplative prayer techniques used for centuries in traditional churches. I have grown up in pentecostal and "modern" churches, for want of a better phrase. I have loved this but sense that there is so much to be gained from combining some of the elements of different denominations to provide a richer and more well-rounded experience of God. These times of silence, of examen, of Lectio Divina, of centring prayer, are providing ways to connect with God in new ways. I still journal my prayers and make requests of God but that has become less dominant in my prayer time. I am far from an expert or even consistent with these as yet. Having a small child who rises very early and a small house where quiet spaces are hard to find are challenges but not insurmountable.
This is the next step in my journey of faith to create a deeper relationship with God. Yours may look different. Wherever you are at with your faith, look for that next step to take. God is passionate about connecting with us but we are usually the ones too distracted or set on keeping Him small in our lives. No one else can make these choices or develop your faith for you.
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