Friday, 7 October 2016

Weighing up the impact on relationships

Accepting a leadership position means accepting on behalf of your family and close friends too. Every yes requires saying no to other things. Weighing up the impact on my relationships, especially my husband and daughter, was a big priority in the decision to step up into a new leadership role. It came close to being a "no" because of this. The pull of feeling called but hearing the reluctance of my family and changes it would mean to our lives was difficult to navigate. I firmly believe that family needs to be top priority but that doesn't necessarily mean every moment has to be devoted to that. How can you judge whether the sacrifices in time and connection are acceptable or make the position wrong for you in this season? I don't know if I have all of the answers to that question. (Lysa Terkeurst's "The Best Yes" does have some great tips for this.)

For me, there has had to be faith involved. I have had to trust that if God is calling me, He will help me to ensure my family is ok. I still have the responsibility to manage my time and use wisdom in my day to day decision making. I get it wrong sometimes. There are seasons when my role takes me away from my family far more than I would like. I have moments of questioning those decisions and dealing with mum guilt. (Leading as a mother will be a post of its own.)

I have discovered that impact on my family is inevitable. I have to make intentional choices to counteract that impact. I have set aside time to invest in my marriage. I try to do MOPS work at times when my daughter doesn't need me and spend time connecting with her. There will still be times when I am away from them. I have to make peace with that and be in communication with my husband and daughter to make it work. 

We each have finite time and resources at our disposal. Only you and your family can make the decision on whether those resources are available for leadership in this current season. It will require letting go of other roles, expectations and ways of doing things. The difficulty is trying to assess the impact of this before you have started living it. There will always be a level of faith and bravery involved as you have to make the leap and then figure it out day to day- no matter how much you have deliberated it before saying "yes". 

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1 comment:

  1. The difficulty is trying to assess the impact of this before you have started living it. --This is so true, and sometimes I get it wrong and have to rethink it all. Thanks for sharing this insightful post