Friday, 28 July 2017

Will grief inspire or pull you under?

In the midst of an intense season, a friend died. One of those friends who used to be a big part of my life but we had lost touch. One of those friends who you bump into and say, "we need to catch up" and never do. Do you have those friends? The emotions and grief of this loss and the funeral brought a dark tide. That tide had already been lapping up my legs and rising with a to do list and big life events adding buckets to it. This threatened to raise that tide over my head. Processing through these feelings and what was spoken about at the funeral, I have come to the realisation that I can either let this grief pull me under or use it to inspire me to return to living a full life. When someone your age leaves this earth, it brings your own mortality close. Do I want my recent days to be my lasting legacy? What is it that I truly value in life? Do I keep doing the same things day in and day out or do I take the next brave step? I want my life to inspire others. 

This post was written as part of Five Minute Friday, where writers set a timer for five minutes and write on a prompt without editing. This week's word was "inspire". You can read other writers' thoughts on this prompt here.

Friday, 14 July 2017

Stepping towards the next comfort zone: a Five Minute Friday post

How can I simultaneously be so drawn to staying in my comfort zone and restless to break free at the same time? When did the step that felt so huge become my comfort zone? Where am I seeking comfort? Tomorrow I am stepping (leaping?) out of my comfort zone and meeting up with other writers in a cafe. I have never met a single one of these women. I feel I can barely qualify as a writer in this season. And yet I am drawn to it. Comfortable can be so uncomfortable too. I need something to shake up the status quo, particularly in my writing life or lack thereof. I am turning to distraction for comfort once more instead of leaning into the disquietude and exploring it with my words. The words are bubbling in the back of my mind but I give them no outlet. I stop and remember that what feels new and uncomfortable so quickly turns into a new normal. That quest for stretching out is a never-ending process if I want to be fully me. That changes on a frequent basis. It seems easier on a day where I have stayed in my pyjamas and not stepped past my front door to keep going with that mentality, to stay where it is comfortable. I choose to step towards the next comfort zone instead.

This was written in response to the Five Minute Friday prompt word "comfort" this week. Five minutes set on a timer- no editing, no planning, just writing. It feels good to be back today. 
You can read other people's submissions on this word here.