Thursday, 7 June 2018

Walking (pushing) through a season of shift and growth


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Have you ever had those seasons where something deep is stirring and you feel caught in this tension you can't quite put your finger on? I am realising that I am in one of those times in my life right now. The intensity of wrapping my head around a new role has eased a fraction in a breathing space between projects. Life is ticking along fairly evenly. I am able to stop and think a little more. I sense a shift coming, a mindset and perspective realignment in progress.

With the shift still in progress, it is hard to grasp and crystallise into words. I see these threads appearing from books I am reading, authors and speakers I hear from, random comments in different social media arenas. I sense the tapestry being woven from these threads but cannot see fully what it is creating. Maybe you can relate to that feeling.

One book that has provided some of the threads is "Holy Hustle" by Crystal Stine. I recognised anew how much I swing between striving and being driven to the detriment of the rest of my life and laziness. I admit that, subconsciously, I was hoping this book would just give me a simple list to follow that would magically fix this in my life, that I would suddenly be able to bring my work, my pursuits and my rest into the mythical balance we hear about. Instead, I found what I didn't realise I was needing- a mindset shift. It brought together seemingly divergent ideas of working hard and resting well that I often read or hear about separately into one book. I have a feeling I will need to be re-reading this one and utilising the reflection sections to wrestle through this more deeply. 




Another book I have just begun reading is "Water to Wine". I am only a few pages in and it is adding its voice to other books and thoughts to make me reassess my Christian faith completely. Now I am not talking about moving away from my faith AT ALL but about evaluating if what it looks like in my life is what Jesus actually intended. I have long been wrestling with this and this seems to be the next leap in my spiritual growth. I have been filtering more of what I think of as "true" through the filter of it is equally as true for believers in other parts of the world who face persecution, for those living in extreme poverty. If my go to beliefs wouldn't apply to them, then are they actually true? I am far from finished with this pursuit for true faith. I don't have any near all the answers. I am learning to be ok with that. Maybe you need to rethink some things in your life too? Maybe you are wrestling with deep thoughts that don't have simple answers. Know that you aren't alone.

The course I have been working on for so long is about to launch. From next week, a small group of people will be accessing the content in a prelaunch group (you can get in on that here if you are interested in combining Scripture meditation with using essential oils). This is when that inner critic starts shouting loudly! My words and work will be out there for the world to see, to review. Maybe that is part of this season, part of the growth. I am having to utilise all the tools I know to find the courage to follow through and publish this course. 

Walking these seasons is never comfortable but I think that's the point. Comfort is an enemy to growth. Wherever you are at in your own life journey, I hope that you lean in and don't check out early. Push deeper into the weeds. Fight through the doubts, the discomfort. Know that the battle is worth it. Let's cheer each other on.

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